Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
