it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
