i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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