also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
