It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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