"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
