Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
