are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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