Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
