Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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