Pregnant stripper...not hot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
