Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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