I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
