Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
