She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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