The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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