My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
