My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
