youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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