i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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