Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
