yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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