so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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