your thong is hanging out like whoa
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
