Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
