This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
