So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
