was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
