she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
