Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
