I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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