bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
