didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
