The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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