you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
