we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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