I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
