it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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