WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
