very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
