New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
