I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
