Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
