actually, I'm a sock model
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
