Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
