Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is Oprah even human
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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