Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
