well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
