went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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