Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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